Seven Tips for Successful Multigenerational Family Travel

So it’s summer time and you’ve decided to take the whole family on a trip. This means your overbearing mother-in-law, your condescending father-in-law, your borderline alcoholic sister-in-law, your own brood and your wife who morphs into Medusa in the company of all of the above. Even if not the Adam’s but your own perfectly normal family (so you think), multigenerational family trips can be a strain on all involved. Here are our tips on how to make them as pleasant as possible:

1. Pick a destination that has something for everyone:

I am a big fan of nature, cruise and resort vacations with the family, as opposed to something with a singular focus like gambling, or skiing, where those unable or uninterested don’t have much to do. If you go to a family resort, there are usually tons of activities to keep everyone engaged and together or apart as they wish: workshops, playgrounds, golf, spas, pools, exercise classes, etc. On a recent family vacation with my in-laws to Palm Springs, my husband and father-in-law played golf in the morning while the ladies hit up some of the nearby outlets, and I hit the spa after lunch while my in-laws and husband took my son to the playground. We all reconvened at dinner time, glad to have each had the opportunity to do something we wanted.

2. Make sure everyone has their own space:

It may seem like a great cost-saver to get a couple of rooms and get everyone to bunk up like a college dorm but trust me, you’ll want to resist the urge. It’s best that everyone get their own room for those moments of privacy or a much-needed break from the constant company. Most of us live in nuclear families now and as much as we love our families, wouldn’t mind the option of a locked door between us. Villas/cottages work great, as do interconnected rooms in hotels. If there is a great push for cohabitation, shove the kids off with grandma and grandpa.

3. Plan age-appropriate activities:

See point 1. If the plan in Vegas is to hit up every single casino or only musicals, it’s pretty likely that the generation above and the one below will have something to object to. Similarly, we took our 2 year old with my in-laws to DisneyLand and we all took turns waiting for his turn on the rides and it was really not much fun at all. I would not have subjected 5 adults to that (my husband planned that trip if you can’t tell). If you are into group activities, make sure everyone gets to contribute their ideas and build in plenty of flexibility for change.

4. Make a pact with your spouse:

Again, no matter how well you all get along, there will always be small things that will bug you or your spouse. Talk it out before hand and agree to support each other to avoid any flare-ups during the holiday. Remember, you are a team, and the reason that all these people are together. You can argue about who has the worse in-laws when you get home.

5. Set expectations for finances before-hand:

If you are picking up the bill, great! Let everyone know and you will be the favorite relative for the trip and maybe a day before and after. If not, it’s best to let everyone know before hand what their expected contribution will be. This goes hand-in-hand with of course, planning a trip that is within everyone’s budget. Getting the money conversation out of the way will just make for a pleasant and conflict-free holiday.

6. Let the grandparents babysit:

As long as you’ve got everyone captive, let the grandparents have a night watching Finding Nemo with the kids while you and your spouse take the night off to enjoy some adult activity. You don’t even have to leave the room (see point #2). This bonding time can happen even during the day while you two go off and enjoy a couple’s massage together. Hey, that’s why it’s called vacation!

7. Cherish the time together:

All families quarrel and most find a way to drive each other mad at least once a day on a trip, but don’t forget that these times together are limited. Enjoy listening to grandpa’s stories about how he immigrated with $3 in his pocket for the hundredth time, take grandma’s unsolicited advice on how to pack a suitcase as a sign of her love and share a libation with your drink-loving sister-in-law. Your kids will pick up cues from you and hostility and resentment are easy to spot a mile away. They will thank you for giving them the opportunity to get to know their family, if not during that particular vacation, then certainly later on in life.

Watch this great video on Multigenerational Family Travel: